the worst.

i just want to be like the other girls, who can always got what they want, got their happiness. i want to be myself. i want to eat. i want to play. i want to dance. i want to do all things i really love. but i know that i can't, there's something always determent me. i don't know why, i just want to be the other girls, who was stronger than me. i think i was a strong girl, but that is just the way i'm thinking about. but, the reality i'm not as strong as i think. i am wondering why ... why i can't be like the the other girls who dont need to act like she was a happy girl, but the reality, she is so weak. like me. i'm pretending to be a happiest person in the world but in fact i'm not like that. sometimes, i'm wondering why dont i born to be someone else? or born to be the other happy girl? i always try to cover my tears with my smile. but i always failed. these tears are drowning me ... drowning me so deep... made me lost my soul. and my passion. God... please, give me some reason.. why did i am not as strong as i think? Hmm... i dont know what to do. God, i'll hand over all of my problem to You. *sigh*